Lifesavers

I don't remember what we were talking about, or what we were doing, but something Oliver said to me the other day has stuck with me.  He said: "Mommy, I really like when I have stains on my clothes.  When I see the stain I immediately remember what I was doing when I got the stain and I remember the fun we were having."

I've had a much different outlook this week thanks to Oliver.  As I am folding clothes I am taken on a journey to the muddy playground, to the gelato place down the street, to the Bahamas, to when Charlie had puppy teeth and tore holes in my jeans... And rather than look at the house in terms of desperately needing to be painted - I am now looking at the walls which are covered in pen marks, crayon scribblings, and finger paints as pure joy - as the fun times we've had together.

I was describing the last few weeks to my mom as being equivalent to trying to tread water with cement block tied to my ankles, and that every time I get close to stabilizing myself, someone adds another block.  I have been spending several hours a day applying for jobs, hours a week in the car traipsing all over the state (and across state lines) for a multitude of interviews, volunteering, working on several freelance projects I've gotten myself into, and then there is the whole other part - you know the being a mom, being a wife, doing laundry, getting groceries, cooking, cleaning, house management, dog walking...  Yikes, writing this makes me tired.  Needless to say, Oliver's sentiments were much needed.  While there are times I think I might go crazy trying to stay afloat with a 4 and 2 year old who have decided that playing deaf when I talk to them is the new black - the reality is that, when it comes down to it - I think the wee crazies are actually the ones who bring me sanity.  They force me to laugh, to get dirty, and to get out.  And get out we have.

I bought Oliver a pair of snowshoes a couple weeks ago and we've been heading to the woods almost daily.  Charlie runs, Henni rides on my back or in a sled, and Oliver snowshoes (until he decides he too would like a ride in the sled).  We've done tracking, collected pine cones, stalked birds, and found incredible beaver damns.

We've also been out in totally inappropriate (for the weather) clothing, and been having lots of fun playing together at home.

In addition to the sanity Oliver and Henni have offered, sanity came in the form of my mom and a quick jaunt north.  Last week mom came down for a couple days to help, and then we headed to Maine for a weekend of snowy fun.

While super fun, the weekend also included a panic attack and heart attack.  Oliver and Henni have both been skiing from the top of the SnowBowl for quite some time.  However, our mode of transportation to the top has been the T-bar.  This past weekend the T-bar was broken and so our only way to the top was the chair - the oldest and highest chair in the world (this could be an exaggeration, but I doubt it).  I had Henni on my lap for the long journey up, and was sure we would both die because I would have a heart attack and then we'd slide off the chair to our death.  What really happened is that I realized half way up that Henni was likely having trouble breathing because I was holding her so tightly.  While I was a wreck, both kids were wonderful on the lift and we were able to ski the day away.

We also did some pretty fun snowshoeing in Maine.

It's a good thing I have everyone and that we have a great play to which we can escape, because reality just doesn't get simpler.  This morning Henni's finger and the bank door had a run in- the door won and Henni ended up with a mangled and broken finger.  Our pediatrician was wonderful and Henni is victorious - happy to show everyone her splinted finger.