They're back...

Yup, beach days are back!

Yesterday morning I put fear aside and told Oliver to pick out some trucks so we could hit the beach. After much hemming and hawing, Oliver chose two trucks from his fleet and we headed to the beach. On the walk down to the beach Henni fell asleep. Perhaps she knew that I was a bit panicked about being with the two of them alone at the beach and decided to let me ease into beach days because she took an amazing nap and didn't wake up until we got back to the car.

When Davis got home from work we grabbed a pizza and headed back down to the beach. Henni stayed awake on this excursion and made sure to let me know that I will have my hands full this summer at the beach - Oliver and his trucks and shovels were all over the beach (and kept being pulled by some seemingly strong magentic field into the water) and Henni was either off the blanket in a flash (with fistfuls of sand in her mouth) or was climbing into the pizza box trying to get fistfuls of pizza in her mouth. Davis was on a conference call and so he was only somewhat helpful.
I was asking someone at the playground for suggestions about the beach with two - she suggested a large beach blanket so both kids had room to play. Excuse me? Clearly she doesn't have kids like mine. My thought is, rather than invest in a large blanket, I will have to invest in a sherpa and a nanny to come to the beach with us this summer. Any takers?

Book Review

Just a few paragraphs into Claire Dederer's book, "Poser: My life in 23 yoga poses" I had to put the book down, look at the by-line and also think back over the past few years of my life - had I actually written a book? The similarities between Ms. Dederer's life and mine were so striking I though perhaps I had managed to write a book - of course changing a few facts, places,etc. for anonymity and to protect those involved.

The book, a memoir, is not so much about yoga as it is about navigating life and motherhood. Ms. Dederer discusses the everyday stresses in such a way that I could not only identify, but also take a step back and laugh at the craziness that we, as moms, put ourselves and our families through (for everyone's good, of course), and the societal (real and perceived) pressures of being a mom.

Ms. Dederer began motherhood in a largely white, well-educated, liberal suburb of Seattle. A place where she describes there being signs asking people to be mindful of dogs rather than to beware of dogs. A place where attachment parenting was practiced to such a degree that strollers were considered "a banned substance" and if one actually did put their child in a stroller rather than hold them, the mom was seen as a) unloving and 2) "an uneducated dumbshit."

She also describes the pressures of buying local and organic - telling the story of the time she found a friend, almost in tears, at the local market struggling over cheese: the local market had organic cheese, but the cheese was not made locally - the issue was whether to buy that cheese or head to the bigger, not-so-local market and buy local cheese, that was not organic. She also describes her joy at getting into "the best" preschool in town and coming home and describing the day to her husband - he is dumbfounded when she says that since it is a co-op she has to stay there and watch their child and other children, be on a committee, and bring food - "we are paying for this?" the husband asks.

Ms. Dederer also describes the challenges of working part-time and at home. And, often, trying to fit life and work into too few childcare hours. Her struggle to find a balance particularly hit home for me as I am coming to the end of my five-year contract at HBS and am trying to figure out what to do next and how I can fit the many pieces of my life (children, Davis, me, career, sanity...) together.

To say I enjoyed the book is an understatement - I loved it. That being said, when I finished the book I told Davis - you have to read this book. I told him that not only was it a great read but somehow I also felt both refreshed and vindicated. However, moments later I told him not to grab the Kindle and start reading - that he would likely find the book a bit crazy and even mind-numbing. So my recommendation - read the book if you feel like you are a mom trying to navigate your way through life - a life where formula-feeding is taboo, baby-wearing is the rage, wooden toys are preferable to plastic, and you know where you can locate organic milk (better yet - that you can name a 24-hour store that carries organic milk). Not only will you be able to identify with Ms. Dederer, but you will also be able to laugh (and cry) at the joys (and pressures) of being a mom.

My compass

For awhile now Oliver has been very interested in where people live and with directions. He knows our address - house, street, town and state - and I often ask him to tell me it just to hear him say "Norberrypoop." While he knows how to correctly pronounce our town, he has made up his own word for it and gets himself into hysterics when he says it - and to be quite honest I crack up too - Norberrypoop (you really need to yell out the poop part)!

Oliver also asks where all of his friends and family live and has the amazing ability to remember. For example, the other day he asked where someone lived and I said New Hampshire. He reminded me that my Aunt Connie and Uncle Bob live in New Hampshire and that they had given him a Black Dog t-shirt. He also finds it noteable that several of his favorite people - Papa, Lele, GG and Ethan and Adam - all live in Maine.

When we are out in the car or on a walk, Oliver can also tell us how to get home, or how to get to the toy store - from almost anywhere. While he doesn't quite have left and right down (although he does say them), but he does manage to have the voice of my GPS down perfectly. The other day we were out walking and when we got to the end of the street he said, "Turn left on Merrimac Street then arrive at destination," in a perfect GPS voice.

City Kids

We spent yesterday being tourists in Boston; to be completely honest, even though I lived in Boston for eight years, I really did feel like a tourist in the city. Not only are many new buildings, shops and restaurants, but also navigating the city with two kids is very different than navigating it sans kids.
We had a fantastic time in the Public Gardens on the Swan Boats and visiting the Mallard Family.

We did have one episode on our excursion which highlighted our different parenting styles - as soon as we got on the Swan Boat Oliver said he had to go to the bathroom - right now! Oliver offered to stand up and pee off the side of the boat. Not wanting to make the evening news I suggested we slip one of Henni's diapers into Oliver's shorts and let him pee. Davis vetoed that. I then suggested that once the boat docked we could quickly escort Oliver to a sneaky place behind a tree or nearby dumpster. Davis vetoed that. When the boat docked Davis ran Oliver through the Gardens to the bathroom at the Taj Hotel. Whatever works.

Our excursion to the city also included a ride on the carousel and fun times with Elizabeth and Kevin.


Tag in the Common was a favorite activity.


I believe Elizabeth and Kevin's favorite part of the day was when we went to look at wedding bands with them. Oliver was especially helpful - pulling out and trying on a million bands and giving his opinion as to which would be best for Kevin.

Not to sound like an advertisement, but John Fleming is an amazing jeweler. Not only have they made us some fantastic jewelry, but they have also been fantastic people. They have our cards (birth announcements, holiday cards...) on display, they know what we are up to, they are fine with Oliver trying on jewelry, and they are open to diaper changes and baby feedings. They are real people, fantastic jewelers - hands down, the best jeweler ever.

Six months

On Tuesday night, after Henni's first full day of being six months old, I put her to sleep in her crib. I was devastated - she was happy. While I love watching Henni grow up, I get misty-eyed as well - I love my roly poly baby - and every day she is growing older. After putting Henni to sleep in her crib that first night I lamented to Davis that she was getting so old and then began to worry about what we would do when it was time for her to head off to college. While Davis acknowledged that time does fly he talked me down off the ledge and suggested I instead savor all of the amazing things Henni is doing right now - right now as she is developing into her own wonderful person.

My chunky little monkey (17 pounds and 10 ounces and 27 inches tall) still smiles at the drop of a hat. The first smile she gives you is a sneaky one with her tongue sticking out, the subsequent ones are the full body smiles I have mentioned before. I love these smiles. I also love her laugh - a full body laugh which includes the biggest smile you have ever seen.


What Henni doesn't do a lot of anymore is snuggling. Henni is on the move. Over the past week she has gone from inching her way from one place to another to managing to get across the room at a relatively quick pace. Her fancy moves include crawling, rolling, inching...an eclectic mix which enables her to get from a place I feel is safe to a place that is full of the smallest toys possible (choking hazards), or construction sites (the number of trucks in our house is a bit insane), or just plain dirty places (mommy does not receive a gold star for cleaning) - in the time it takes me to go to the bathroom.

Oliver is, for the most part, enjoying Henni getting older. He likes that she can do more with him, but is also having difficulty with her love for his toys - with Henni crawling across the room so that she can rip his train track apart and try to eat it, for example. That being said, after some discussion he is now trying to be a big boy and redirect her - either by giving her one of her toys, or by relocating her (which can be a bit scary).



Here are a few more pictures-

Henni loves the swing, but the other day an excavator was doing work in the park, so both kids spent close to an hour and a half in the swing watching the excavator work - Henni got bored after a bit and fell asleep.
Note the no socks theme - Henni is not a fan: I have given up.

Henni will devour Mum Mum after Mum Mum, but has no real interest in other food.

Cutting the cord(s)

I have, somehow, amassed an amazing number of devices "to keep me connected:" three computers, an iPad, Kindle, and my Blackberry. I remember the first couple of days with my Blackberry - I was so annoyed that my day was being repeatedly interrupted with emails, calls and text messages - I considered returning it and purchasing a regular phone. However, I was told to wait it would, I would come to love it - and, for good or bad, I have. I find myself checking my emails and messages, reading about things - both important and silly - at the playground, while playing in the sandbox, while taking a walk with the kids... I also find that I (and most people I communicate with) have come to communicate via email or text, to the point of apologizing when choosing to call rather than send a message.

When Oliver was a baby I read an incredible book called Bright from the Start. While the book is a treasure trove of information, one parenting tip it passed along was to avoid using a phone, computer, iPad...in front of your baby/child as the device will become just another thing which takes your attention away from your child and another thing which your child will see as detracting from time with its parent or caregiver. For awhile I was diligent about this, however, I have long since abandoned this advice - to my detriment.

Over the past few days I have made a concerted effort to put aside my electronic devices which are meant for me to connect, and have instead connected with my children - connected with them without having my Blackberry in my back pocket, without getting on the computer while they are happily playing by themselves. While I feel totally disconnected from the world beyond my little family, I have been able to share in their joy of being children. For example, the other day Oliver and I were talking about spring and buds and leaves. He misunderstood what I said, he thought I had said bugs rather than buds, and came out with the most beautiful statement - "So mommy, one day all of the ladybugs on the trees will open their wings and fly into the sky and leave behind leaves and spring?" How fantastic would that be?!

With my electronic devices no where to be found I also spent a wonderful (albeit sometimes frustrating) day with Oliver mulching. He was so enamored by the project he cried when it was finished and begged for more mulch (he will get his wish as we were a half a yard short, so more mulch will be coming our way).


Had I been left to my devices may have missed my children share, for the first time - a snack.


I also might have missed Oliver painting a tattoo of a dino on his tmuumy (and his subsequent painting of a dino on his arm and the making of tummy prints (squishing his paint soaked tummy on to paper)).


This morning, sans devices, we were all able to go swimming as a family. The smile on Oliver's face when I told him that Henni would be able to join in our Sunday morning family swim ritual was priceless. And Henni's face when she realized the splashes she could make in the pool - priceless.


While I'd love to say I am going to sideline my electronics for good, I know that won't happen. Instead, I am going to focus on reducing my reliance on them to connect and instead focus on connecting with people.

The Negociator

Mommy: Oliver, would you please pick up your toys?

Oliver: I can't.

Mommy (tired and desperate): I will give you 10 cents for your piggy bank if you pick up your toys.

Oliver: The excavator I want is $24.

Mommy: Well, I will give you 10 cents towards it.

Oliver: That isn't much. I'll give you 10 cents from my piggy bank if you pick up my toys.

Sitting pretty

In the last few days Henni has truly mastered sitting. She is able to sit and play and sit and play and sit and play... This whole thing is entirely new to me as Oliver never really did this - he sat and played for approximately one day and then started to inch and then crawl. While I'd love to think that Henni's sitting and playing stage might last awhile, I don't think that is going to happen. When placed laying down (rather than sitting) Henni is on the move - no where near where she was placed. While not yet crawling, she is able to make it across the room and able to find the smallest or dirtiest thing possible and get it in her mouth. (Given all this I have to admit that her tummy time has been decreased quite a bit over the last few days - when placed sitting she sits and plays for a good chunk of time, when placed laying down, trouble...sitting it is!)

I am in shock that Henni has already mastered such tricks. She is my baby. The one that is supposed to curl up on my chest, love to snuggle, smell like a baby, sleep in a little baby bed... The reality is that while snuggling is fun for a bit, Henni would rather watch Oliver play - and try to join in - she'd rather practice sitting or standing than curl up on my chest, and she tends to smell (sorry Henni) a bit more like poop than that of a sweet little baby (she has, as Oliver calls them - massive, massive blowouts). And sleeping - she is a fantastic sleeper, but she needs to move out of her baby bed. I still have her in the co-sleeper. This afternoon I went to transition it from the bassinet to the "big girl" bed, but couldn't do it. I know that she is too big for the bassinet and really should be transitioned, but I just wasn't up for it. I need her to be a little baby for at least a few more days.

A little tricky

A couple weeks ago we added another bike to Oliver's fleet - a bike with training wheels, or as Oliver calls it, his chain bike. The name chain bike distinguishes it from his helmet bike (his balance bike), from his peddle bike (his tricycle), and the one that attaches to the back of either Davis' or my bike - seriously, given the bikes, strollers, and other playthings we have given the garage over to Oliver - a two car garage and we can't get either car in.

The first couple goes at the chain bike were a little rocky - Oliver was so enamored by the peddles and training wheels that he would watch his feet peddling and the training wheels spinning and not watch where he was going - lots of slow speed crashes. Once the idea of peddles and training wheels was not so novel, he began to fly. Mind you, at this point he had not yet mastered the braking. At one point he was flying down the street, crashed into the curb, flew over the handle bars and skidded across the sidewalk. Henni and I run over, and a man painting our neighbor's house calls over to see if things are ok - he's got his cell phone out ready, I think, to call 911. Oliver picks himself up, says, "Minus! Well, that was a little tricky." He then hops back on the bike and peddles off. While I love his enthusiasm and spirit, a little fear might not be a bad thing.

Here's a little video my sister took -

You must be a cow

The other morning I was, as Oliver says, making milk for Henni (pumping). I don't remember exactly how this discussion get started, but I soon found myself knee deep in a serious conversation - Why do people drink milk? Why can't I make chocolate milk for Henni? If mammals such as whales and bears nurse their babies, why don't we drink whale milk and bear milk? (I believe I had the correct answer to this- convenience and safety - who wants to track down, for example, a black bear and milk it? And a whale? Well, that would be tough!) The conversation then continued to a discussion about cow's milk - a discussion about the convenience and safety of using cow's milk. Somehow I must not have explained things as well as I thought I had, because Oliver turns to me and says, "Well, mommy, you must be a cow." (Sitting there pumping I did feel rather like a cow, but I wasn't totally keen on starting off my morning being referred to as a cow). Davis, who had been listening from the kitchen looks at me and says - "Given the information provided in your discussion, he did make an obvious conclusion, in fact, I'd say he was quite smart." Ah to have a scientist as a husband.

Sorry folks, no picture to document that wonderful conversation. But here is a cute one of Oliver and Henni in the bath.