Book Review

Just a few paragraphs into Claire Dederer's book, "Poser: My life in 23 yoga poses" I had to put the book down, look at the by-line and also think back over the past few years of my life - had I actually written a book? The similarities between Ms. Dederer's life and mine were so striking I though perhaps I had managed to write a book - of course changing a few facts, places,etc. for anonymity and to protect those involved.

The book, a memoir, is not so much about yoga as it is about navigating life and motherhood. Ms. Dederer discusses the everyday stresses in such a way that I could not only identify, but also take a step back and laugh at the craziness that we, as moms, put ourselves and our families through (for everyone's good, of course), and the societal (real and perceived) pressures of being a mom.

Ms. Dederer began motherhood in a largely white, well-educated, liberal suburb of Seattle. A place where she describes there being signs asking people to be mindful of dogs rather than to beware of dogs. A place where attachment parenting was practiced to such a degree that strollers were considered "a banned substance" and if one actually did put their child in a stroller rather than hold them, the mom was seen as a) unloving and 2) "an uneducated dumbshit."

She also describes the pressures of buying local and organic - telling the story of the time she found a friend, almost in tears, at the local market struggling over cheese: the local market had organic cheese, but the cheese was not made locally - the issue was whether to buy that cheese or head to the bigger, not-so-local market and buy local cheese, that was not organic. She also describes her joy at getting into "the best" preschool in town and coming home and describing the day to her husband - he is dumbfounded when she says that since it is a co-op she has to stay there and watch their child and other children, be on a committee, and bring food - "we are paying for this?" the husband asks.

Ms. Dederer also describes the challenges of working part-time and at home. And, often, trying to fit life and work into too few childcare hours. Her struggle to find a balance particularly hit home for me as I am coming to the end of my five-year contract at HBS and am trying to figure out what to do next and how I can fit the many pieces of my life (children, Davis, me, career, sanity...) together.

To say I enjoyed the book is an understatement - I loved it. That being said, when I finished the book I told Davis - you have to read this book. I told him that not only was it a great read but somehow I also felt both refreshed and vindicated. However, moments later I told him not to grab the Kindle and start reading - that he would likely find the book a bit crazy and even mind-numbing. So my recommendation - read the book if you feel like you are a mom trying to navigate your way through life - a life where formula-feeding is taboo, baby-wearing is the rage, wooden toys are preferable to plastic, and you know where you can locate organic milk (better yet - that you can name a 24-hour store that carries organic milk). Not only will you be able to identify with Ms. Dederer, but you will also be able to laugh (and cry) at the joys (and pressures) of being a mom.