Potty Talk

About a month after Oliver turned two he decided pooping in the potty was preferable to pooping in his diaper.  He decided this on his own, no discussion, nothing.  Then, one morning when he was just about 2.5 I was trying desperately to get us out the door as we were running late for something and we had a million errands to run.  Oliver walked out of his room and announced he did not have a diaper on, and had decided he would wear underwear.  I panicked.  I had not read anything about potty training, we had things we had to do and I wasn't sure how the whole no diaper thing would fit in.  But, I decided we'd go with it.  I packed a bag of extra clothes and off we went.  When we were out I did buy M&Ms as I remembered someone mentioning they were helpful with potty training.

Well, that day was a success, and the days going forward were as well. Oliver successfully potty trained himself.  The only training I had to do was to provide guidance on appropriate places to pee.  The potty is good, the tree at the far end of the playground is acceptable, but the neighbor's front lawn - no.  And those M&Ms, Oliver decided that he should get one (as in steal one) every time he went potty since other friends were getting treats for using the potty.


Henni.  Henni. Henni.  Henni is a different story.  Henni has announced she is done with pull-ups, done with diapers, and is only going to wear Hello Kitty underwear.  While I embrace the idea of life without diapers, I am not a proponent of Henni's decision.  While Henni has decided she will only wear underwear, she has not decided she will use the potty.  She will, on occasion, sit her little butt on the potty, but the majority of the time she prefers to pee or poop in her pants and deny it.  She's been peeing on the floor at friend's houses, peeing on my lap at story hour, and pooping in her brand new (1 hour old) pink polka dotted pants.  And bribery...the girl will not be bribed.  I present her with a bribe and she looks into my eyes and yells "no!" And then turns around and continues whatever she is doing, and then pees on the floor.  If she could flip her hair in obstinance, I think she would.  Awesome.

Ok.  I lied.  There is one thing that will get Henni on a potty - a public bathroom.  When presented with a public restroom she will jump right on, touching anything and everything in and out of her reach on the way up - and down.  I would love to say I have no idea where this comes from, but I do...Oliver.  Oliver adores public restrooms.  If we are out and he notices a place has a restroom he will use it.  And I am not talking pee.  Nope he can apparently poop on demand.  When we go out to eat, we try and choose a place he has been.  If we choose a new place the majority of the meal will be spent with Oliver in the bathroom, pooping, chatting, and loving life.

I am considering having someone with a wholesale club membership go and buy me an insane amount of hand sanitizer.  I am then thinking of inventing a travel body sanitizing thing (think large bucket which I can fill with sanitizer and then dip my kids in).  Armed with a way to rid myself and the wee ones of the grossness which lives in public restrooms, I may embark on my own 3 day potty boot camp.  Imagine this...3 days in which I spend out and about with the kids.  All activities will be within feet of various public restrooms.  We will spend the day running in and out of those petri dishes.  Going potty, sanitizing...going potty, sanitizing.  For good measure I may carry a Solo cup containing an adult beverage and topped it with one of those little umbrellas.    I am thinking that the happy little umbrella might be helpful when I latch that public restroom for the 12th time and when I realize that - no, I am not smelling a public restroom, but I have acquired the smell of a public restroom.

I am trying to decide when to launch this plan. I want to be diaper free (or rather have us be a diaper free house), but I have to steel myself for the adventure.