The glass

The last couple weeks have been either really wonderful or really horrible - depending upon how one looks at said weeks.  I have been running a lot as I am training for my first half marathon (which seems really long since before I started my training I had never run more than 3 miles) and I find my long runs full of ups and downs - and I am not talking of the hills.  Alone with my thoughts and without the need to keep up the "things are fantastically awesome facade" I find myself ruminating about the thunderhead which seems to be looming and about the clouds that have found us.  However, just as I begin to get super glum, I start to think about everything that is going well for us - and really, when one gets down to it, things aren't super cloudy and the thunderhead isn't here.  In fact, much of the time things are downright sunny.  The reality is that right now I think our glass of life is filled just to the middle - half full or half empty, depending on the view.

What I find quite is amazing is that while I am exhausted, the kids are wonderful.  Their resilience is astounding.  They continue to dance their way through the day, continue to spend their day pretending to be tamarind monkeys, and continue to welcome new friends and new faces into our lives.  And they do this with smiles.

And, as I said, there are many things we have to smile about.  We have been spending as much time as possible at the beach - even heading there after work to have picnic dinners.

And we have been revisiting fun places, like the zoo in York, Maine.  The zoo really is a great zoo.  My favorite part is the deer.  Davis liked the bear cubs.  Henni the ducks and Oliver - the scorpions.

We've also been doing a lot of exploring and hiking.  Charlie, now a solid 85 pounds, is a formidable addition to our excursions - we are thinking we may need a bigger car and perhaps saddlebags.  The bigger car so as to fit Charlie and all of our gear, and the saddlebags so Charlie can help carry all of our snacks -- Henni has become a crazy eater - I think she must have two wooden legs, and a couple wooden arms.

And another wonderful thing...Oliver AND Henni have both slept through the night 4 nights in a row.  What this amounts to is that, for the first time since June 30, 2008, I have slept through the night - actually, slept through 4 nights.  Furthermore, we are now on day 4 of Henni not nursing.  This is another milestone as I began breastfeeding on July 1, 2008  and with the exception of four months (and I was pregnant during said four months), I have been breastfeeding.  Sleep.  Getting my body back.

Things are good.  They really are.

Hollie

Last December I posted an ad on Care.com: "Wonderful nanny needed."  I got more than 60 applicants in just a few days.  The last person to apply was Hollie.  One of the references Hollie gave told me that Hollie was incredible with children and with families and was just an amazing person.  Her reference also told me that we would be very lucky if she decided to work with us.  Within a day of Hollie joining our crazy brood I knew that she was the "wonderful nanny" we needed and I knew that we were lucky to have her.

Last week Hollie left for Italy - to pursue her career interests and to make me jealous (ok, not the latter, but I am super jealous of Hollie spending 3 1/2 months in Italy).  Eight months with Hollie as our nanny and one week without Hollie - I have to say Hollie's reference was spot on - we were so lucky that she chose to work with our family.  Not only did Oliver and Henni fall in love with Hollie, but also Hollie taught me about me and about being a mom.

Davis and I have a hard time leaving the kids; we could probably count on two hands the number of date nights we've had since having children.  Much of this is just us - our way of parenting - but another piece is that we had a few people who weren't totally awesome with the kids.  The people we tried weren't horrible, the kids just didn't like them and I would get calls asking me to come home from the grocery store, from a meeting, from wherever I was because Henni was crying and because Oliver was beside himself that Henni was so sad.  Then along came Hollie...Hollie does incredible crafts, she sings,  she takes care of large puppies, she does dishes, she does and folds laundry...Did I mention the kids love Hollie and that I love spending time with her as well?

Hollie gave me a feeling of freedom.  Being away from the kids for the day - with Hollie being at home with them - I could breathe because I knew they would not only be okay, but they would also be having fun and they would be happy.  I knew they would be playing cheetah and gazelle tag, finding wonderful books at the library, riding bikes, or creating pictures that would adorn our walls.

To be totally honest I took advantage of the freedom afforded by Hollie, but I didn't realize this until Hollie left.  The kids loved being with Hollie so much that I took the time I needed to get stuff done, plus some.  I was able to have some just me time with Hollie with the kids because I knew they were having so much fun.  Hollie showed me that the kids can be happy with someone other than me (that sounds a little obvious and narcissistic, but hopefully I am getting my point across).

Although we appreciated every day Hollie spent with us and we appreciated all she did, I don't think we fully comprehended how much she had become a part of our family and how much she did for us.  Davis and I got on the topic of people being worth their weight in gold - of course Davis did the calculation and determined he is worth more than $5.4 million.  I would just put forth that Hollie is invaluable and we are eagerly awaiting her return.

New tricks

The little ones have a few new tricks up their sleeves and paws.

On Monday Oliver had his first skating lesson.  New places and new people are generally tough.  Oliver usually wants me right with him, attached by hand, hip, full body vice grip...I was therefore pleasantly surprised when Oliver donned the helmet and skates and headed off onto the ice without even a glance back.  Throughout the hour session I kept trying to take pictures and wave to him, but he never looked my way - instead he was intent on skating.

Or perhaps he was intent on the helmet.  My boy likes his shoes - he also likes helmets.  There are days when Oliver will put his bike helmet on at 8:00 in the morning and not take it off until bath time.  The hockey helmet, therefore, got some serious lovin'.  Oliver's post hockey snack required some creativity.

Henni has mastered the balance bike and is now out cruising the street with the neighborhood kids.  Oliver has been cheering her on and keeps telling her to practice because if she does, "Mommy will get you a fancy new bike."  Where he got this, I have no idea, but the girl is committed and is doing amazingly well.

Our little 81 pound puppy has decided to become a hole digger and has also decided that the pest fencing I had put up to protect one gardens is just a mere inconvenience.  Charlie has in fact taken our backyard to an entirely new level - and not one that Better Homes and Gardens would profile.

 I am quite excited about Henni and Oliver's new tricks.  Charlie's, not so much.

Back to school

We all survived our week.

Oliver loves his new teachers and was happy to reconnect with friends from last year and meet new friends.  He's been studying butterflies this week and has brought home some beautiful drawings -- and one drawing of a trap designed to catch Henni (interesting).

First day of school

 Henni has been enjoying her time alone while at the same time being utterly lost.  She goes to the fridge to grab a snack, grabs two, then turns around and realizes Oliver is not there to eat with her.  Or she will run outside to the sandbox yelling Oliver, only to realize she will be playing by herself.  She is so excited when Oliver arrives home that she has not napped - instead choosing to play with Oliver.

Amy was here on Tuesday and it went well.  I think Oliver was as surprised as I was and announced to Hollie on Wednesday that "We actually liked Amy!".  Today is Hollie's last day before she heads to Italy - Monday begins our first full week of school and Amy.

While we survived this week, it was long and there were lots of changes.  I think we are all looking forward to the weekend - hopefully one where we can kick back and relax (right) before the changes of next week.

Here are some pictures of our peach picking from last weekend.

Tired girl

Growing Pains

Tomorrow Oliver starts school.  Tomorrow is our first day without Hollie, our beloved nanny, friend, and savior.  Tomorrow we meet our new nanny.  Tomorrow Henni is also planning to go back to school, but she is not.  Tomorrow I have a 2 hour conference call, which I am actually really excited about.  Tonight I cried.  

We have so many changes happening.  I am hoping that with everything happening at once it will be like pulling off a bandaid -- fast.  So many things that are happening are so exciting, but also so many things are so big.  Oliver and Henni are going to have a rough few weeks.  They adore Hollie and they are going to miss her so much.  And Oliver is going to have to adjust to being back at school.  And being at school for (gasp) 5 mornings.  And Henni, she is going to be so sad that she is not going to be going to school, and she is going to be so sad not having Oliver at home with her.  And did I mention how much they are going to miss Hollie?

There is a part of me that wants to say that I will drop everything and be home like I was over the last school year.  I loved walking/biking Oliver to school.  I loved picking him up.  I loved being home with Henni.  I loved having no schedule.  But, now, I love my job.  I really love what I am doing.  I feel guilty that I don't want to give it up to be home full-time. I am not sure if my evening of crying is because I am sad I am going to miss out on so much by working, or because I love my job and therefore I am not willing to consider leaving it to be home full-time.  Or maybe it is because Oliver is 4 and is going to be off, on his own, 5 mornings!  I realize 5 mornings is just 3 hours more than 4 mornings, but it seems like much much more.

Deep breath.

Puma track suit - in the running for day 1 outfit