Growing Pains

Tomorrow Oliver starts school.  Tomorrow is our first day without Hollie, our beloved nanny, friend, and savior.  Tomorrow we meet our new nanny.  Tomorrow Henni is also planning to go back to school, but she is not.  Tomorrow I have a 2 hour conference call, which I am actually really excited about.  Tonight I cried.  

We have so many changes happening.  I am hoping that with everything happening at once it will be like pulling off a bandaid -- fast.  So many things that are happening are so exciting, but also so many things are so big.  Oliver and Henni are going to have a rough few weeks.  They adore Hollie and they are going to miss her so much.  And Oliver is going to have to adjust to being back at school.  And being at school for (gasp) 5 mornings.  And Henni, she is going to be so sad that she is not going to be going to school, and she is going to be so sad not having Oliver at home with her.  And did I mention how much they are going to miss Hollie?

There is a part of me that wants to say that I will drop everything and be home like I was over the last school year.  I loved walking/biking Oliver to school.  I loved picking him up.  I loved being home with Henni.  I loved having no schedule.  But, now, I love my job.  I really love what I am doing.  I feel guilty that I don't want to give it up to be home full-time. I am not sure if my evening of crying is because I am sad I am going to miss out on so much by working, or because I love my job and therefore I am not willing to consider leaving it to be home full-time.  Or maybe it is because Oliver is 4 and is going to be off, on his own, 5 mornings!  I realize 5 mornings is just 3 hours more than 4 mornings, but it seems like much much more.

Deep breath.

Puma track suit - in the running for day 1 outfit